Fake Forgiveness: In this type of forgiveness people trick themselves into thinking they have forgiven someone, however, they do not forget the offense nor give other chances to those who have hurt them. They trick themselves into thinking they do not have feelings of anger or resentment, though when those persons come to their minds or met again by chance, those feelings resurface.
Heart Forgiveness: In this type of forgiveness people decide to forget the offense, which allows them to truly stop their feelings of anger and resentment, allowing them to continue trusting the offender(s), Heart Forgiveness is vital for any kind of lasting relationships whether it is friendship, couples, or family.
While Heart Forgiveness could be one of the most difficult things to do, there are some tips that could make it easier:
- Accept the fact that we all make mistakes.
- Understand that what happened cannot be undone, but you can learn from it.
- Stop dwelling in the past events related to the offense.
- Understand there are many reasons people do or don't do things, including reasons that go beyond their own control (low level of maturity, complex family issues, failure to know themselves, traumas, memory issues, brain damage, need of approval, among others).
- Put yourself in the offender's shoes, ask yourself: what you'd want to happen if it were you, how you would feel, would you like to be truly forgiven?
- Identify the positive outcomes (lessons learned, resilience development, newly discovered skills, etc).
Heart Forgiveness is also one of the best tools at hand to positively impact others so they quit their wrong ways, and change for good.
It is important to mention that forgiveness does not mean the offenders must not be responsible for the offense.
What you would think are good examples of Heart Forgiveness?(Reply in the comments)
